Mother of Member Rosaria Shaver

Guardianships can destroy lives, especially when there are family members that can take care of elderly parents. Malicious people can abuse and manipulate the system to take advantage of vulnerable people, as I know from experience. Over the last few years, I have felt angry, powerless, shattered, and disappointed, and I am heartbroken for my mom. What was planned for my parents’ golden years was destroyed by the court system, and greed from their son and daughter in law, “who wanted it all.” My dad turned on his wife because he was manipulated by his son, but the true evilness comes from the lies my brother’s wife put in his egotistic head.

In August 2019 my brother initiated an emergency guardianship on my mom. We all believed it was under his wife’s direction, she has a pattern of manipulating and destroying others. They used the court system to manipulate and attempt to control my mom in order to gain control of her assets by way of guardianship. The judge denied what would be my brother’s first guardianship petition in August. Four months later, in December 2019, through manipulation from my brother and his wife, my 87-year-old father filed for guardianship against his wife.

During the emergency guardianship, it was clear in court that my mother was not incapacitated, and she explained to the judge that the filing was all about money. During the guardianship hearing, I witnessed my brother and father make a number of false statements about my mother, her actions, and their reasons for filing the guardianship. My brother and dad falsely stated, with no documentation, that my mom burns food, didn’t go to the gym, among other many blatant lies.

Most egregious was that my brother stated he recently discovered that my mother had annuities and life insurance policies, and that he had concerns that they had been recently changed or manipulated. However, this was not true. He had hired an attorney a year prior for the sole purpose of discussing with my parents changing these annuities. I have a copy where he asks permission to go over all of their policies. He was certainly aware of them then and my parents’ wishes. Later, my mother’s guardian, following their own inquiry into my mother’s finances, also realized that this was the case. The only person who had attempted to change them within the past year was my brother and his wife. In other words, my brother made a number of blatant lies about his concerns and justifications at this hearing when, prior to and after the hearing, both him and my father made it clear through their actions and words that their only desire was my brother’s personal financial gain and to gain control.

On December 3, 2019, he and his wife went to my parents’ house, and they started to call my mom’s annuities. My mom now had a code on them and he could not get access to them. He and his wife then tried going after her life insurance policies, and started calling them. On that day, he had my parents sign a life policy over to him, which I was the beneficiary since 2008. He changed it to himself and his wife as beneficiary. This was against both my parents’ wishes. My mom called me after they left her home, stating she didn’t know what policy she signed and she said he pressured her. In her head she thought “okay I will sign it, and then cancel it.” My brother and his wife both thought they got away with gaining access to this policy, but it became flagged fraud and is on “high alert” because of his actions. She said that her son and daughter-in-law were fuming that they could not get information about her policies.

The very next day after trying to change policies, my brother and his wife had my dad file for guardianship on December 4, 2019 When my father filed for guardianship, it destroyed my mom. She could not believe that her own husband would take her to court and lie about her after 67 years of marriage; it crushed her. She had anger and sadness in her. She was a faithful wife; she kept his secrets. We had the “perfect family.” I never thought my father would hurt my mom, but he did terrible harm to her due to the manipulation of my brother and his wife. I feel sorry for my dad because he fell right into their path and went along with it. He could have stopped it, and did try later, but then fell right back into my brother and sister in law’s demands and games.

I begged my father not to take his wife to court, as she was not incapacitated. In return, he filed a pfa on me based on false statements, and then they made up a story that I told him to drop the PFA in the background of a phone call between him and my mother. I would be charged with contempt of the pfa based on this lie, despite no evidence and contradictory stories by my brother and father. My brother and his wife used this tactic so I can look bad in court. The same week, after working in a hospital for almost ten years, I was terminated, because my sister-in-law made false accusations that I went through my father’s chart.

My father was taken advantage of in this situation. His son and daughter-in-law convinced him that I stole my mom’s money, and used manipulation to turn him against his wife, myself, and my family. Unfortunately, my father cannot read or write and can be easily misled due to this challenge. In fact, my dad had annuities in his own name and signed over to his son. My dad was later in shock that his son had taken his policies, in fact my father stated, “he wanted to know why his son changed them.” At the same time my brother and his wife were trying to change my mom’s annuities, they were changing his. My mom was aware, my dad was not. Due to my brother and sister-in-law, he believed that I stole his annuities. My mom knew what her son and daughter-in-law were doing and tried to stop them. She was too smart for them and because she resisted them, their only option to gain control was to file for guardianship.

After months of torment, my brother thought he or my dad would be awarded guardianship and would then be able to control all my mother’s assets and spend it on my brother and his wife’s lavish life, but they failed. Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, the ruling was delayed to Oct 2020. The same judge that dismissed the emergency guardianship in August 2019, now ruled my mom totally incapacitated of her finances and limited of person. My mother would now have a court appointed third party guardian, who thankfully allows her to live with me. In fact, the guardian in our case has been wonderful and we were very fortunate.

But we were all blindsided by this ruling, and my mother was destroyed by this ruling. My mother was not at all incapacitated and knew what was going on. She would not give into my brother and his wife’s demands. My mother did not want a guardian and would not go home. The guardianship was a prison sentence to her. She knew her rights were taken away. She would never be able to open her mail, or never be able to receive her social security check, and most of all, she could not make all her decisions. This all crushed her. My mother was a very independent woman, a strong woman and a fighter who was the president of her family business for decades. Losing her rights was a blow to her. She was not going to have a guardian, as she wanted me, her daughter, to take care of her when the time was needed, but it was not needed at the time. She knew what was going on and was extremely angry that her husband, son, and daughter in law would do this to her. All of my mom’s many emotions that have surged over the unnecessary suffering brought upon by my brother, his wife, and my dad. My mom’s misery and the root cause was greed.

However, though my brother could not gain access to any more of my mother’s finances, he was not done trying. Six months later after the final guardianship hearing and after being told by my mother’s guardian that they had discovered no financial wrongdoing on my part in regard to my mother’s finances, my brother and his wife, now on their 3rd lawyer, pressured my father to file for divorce after being married to my mom for 68 years in an attempt to gain access to her assets.

It was evident that my father did not really want a divorce. At a party in March 2021, my dad openly admitted to me and my cousin that he did not want a divorce but had to get one, so he could get “half the money” and that his son and daughter in law “made him file for divorce.” When my brother and his wife were not around my father would talk to me, but I rarely saw him as my brother and sister-in-law alienated him from most family members. When he did see me and my mom, he was all over her and very desperate to see her. Eventually, his lawyers had to drop the divorce because in a divorce deposition my father admitted several times he did not want a divorce, but was told that “he had to.” This was after spending tens of thousands of dollars and causing so much emotional damage. My mom actually had a nervous breakdown due to the divorce but mainly the breakdown was over her daughter in law, my mom knew she was the “leader”. Her breakdown lasted for over three weeks, and everyone was bad because she thought everyone was her daughter in law, it was sad to see my mom like this, but how much can one person take. It took her over a year to recover, but she finally did.

I look back now and I realized that my brother and his wife had a well thought out plan that started in June 2019, in order to build up their case for guardianship. They started to work on my dad first and convinced him that he was broke, and that I stole all his money. My father started getting mad at me and my mother and stated he was “penniless.” Then my brother, and sister-in-law would berate my mom about money, and tell her that my father was broke, that she gave me “all the money.” My father started to believe he was broke and that I stole all his money.

My mother stood up for me and for herself and this is why they ultimately tried to control her by means of a guardianship. But first, they tried to destroy her image and make her seem unstable. Prior to the guardianship filings, family members came to me to ask about my mother because I learned my brother was telling them that she had severe dementia (this was not true). When my mother would get upset as my brother and sister-in-law berated her, they would call the cops on her. In fact, they were called dozens of times in the months of June and July 2019. They would tell the police that she was hysterical. My mother was never hysterical, but mad. My brother even tried to 302 her and the police would not. In all their lies with the police calls, my mom never got charged as the police would say these” were just arguments.” During this period my brother and my father successfully withdrew money from and froze my parents bank accounts. In fact, my brother and his wife hung out at the bank for three weeks prior to filing for guardianship. The bank had concerns about them, and contacted my mom and myself. Additionally, in June and July 2019, my brother had already attempted to have my mother sign over annuities to him, as well as have my dad empty one of her banking accounts. My brother also borrowed sixty thousand dollars from my mother, which he never repaid. None of this was ever taken into account during her guardianship hearings.

Not only were my brother, sister-in-law, and father wrong in their actions, I also realized the guardianship system has many flaws. In August 2019, after the judge ruled my mom not incapacitated in the emergency guardianship, he recommended that she get evaluated and she did in October 2019. Her guardian lawyer sat in on the evaluation and my mother was very anxious and mad at this evaluation and It was clear the psychiatrist did not like me, especially when you read his evaluation. I also stated to the psychiatrist, in October 2019, that my mom never gave him permission to see her medical records and that this was a HIPPA violation and that he had no right to her medical records, he told me “he would get them one way or another.” In fact, my brother obtained my mother’s medical records from a facility that my mom never even went to and without permission. She has a letter stating it was a HIPPA violation. Ultimately, the psychiatrist met with my mother once for a little over an hour and also factored in a meeting with my brother and father (who is very manipulated) and who lied about her, as well as my brother who paid for this assessment to the psychiatrist that he became friendly with. The psychiatrist stated in court that my brother gave him an extra $1,000, because he did all this work. Of course, in my opinion, this psychiatrist sided with my brother, the one paying him, who he became friendly with. In my opinion, it sounds more like a bribe to favor my brother and father. He seemed happy to speculate and insinuate on financial situations and make meaningless, irrelevant personal asides in what is supposed to be a simple evaluation of my mother’s well-being.

The testimony of the psychiatrist in court led to the decision to rule my mom fully incapacitated of finances and partial of person. The system is messed up, even for the psychiatrist to say he was paid more. My brother made blatant lies to the appointed psychiatrist and this psychiatrist’s actions were particularly outrageous. And I questioned how one man can have so much power in the court. I then found out, and now I understand, that this psychiatrist is a commonly used doctor for these issues in my country. But I do not understand how his opinion can supersede and invalidate the considerably more neutrally written evaluations of his peers. There were others and medical professionals that said my mom was capable of making her own decisions and had only mild dementia. Her medical records state she has mild dementia, and she was tested by the neurology department again in March 2022. Again, the third time since she was ruled incapacitated, her test results again came back with only ”mild dementia.” Though the only person out of all her evaluations states she has moderate to severe dementia was the psychiatrist that my brother paid for.

After I complained to the medical board about the psychiatrist’s outrageous evaluation, the judge sealed another document on my mom in July 2023. I found out via the internet; the guardian was not even aware. I questioned why there was no representation for my mom when this sealed document was done. This does not add up. There just happened to be another sealed document while the psychiatrist was under investigation, and I am not privy on what was sealed. I received a letter in August 2023, per the medical investigation on the psychiatrist, they state, “While this office chose not to proceed further with your complaint, the very act of investigating a licensee can serve as a strong deterrent to professional misconduct.”

In the end, it was so sad to see my mother fall apart all because my brother and his wife became greedy and wanted it all. There have been many twists and turns, a son who perjured himself in court, made his dad perjure himself in court and destroyed his mom and manipulated my dad to file for guardianship, and then a divorce, which was dropped a year later. It is very unfortunate and unbelievable that a son would go to such an extent to destroy his mother for money. They used the court system to manipulate and control my mom and they largely got away with it. It was also sad to see her lawyers taking her money and promising that they would go back to court, and never did. Everyone making a profit on her. I believe they are all connected in some way, benefiting each other, instead of the rights of my mom, the victim.

There needs to be some kind of accountability and consequences for people who abuse the court system and take advantage of the elderly. It is very unfortunate and unbelievable that a son would go to such an extent to destroy his mother for money. But I believe there is a big problem in my county and state, Luzerne County, Pennsylvania. I have emailed evidence three times to the district attorney’s office, and have shown them so much proof of what this guardianship was about for “money” but the detectives ignored my plea to reopen this guardianship case, the last detective was rude and said “this case is closed.” Many agencies tell me it’s a tragedy – they believe that my brother and sister-in-law play dirty, are evil, but can’t help. I tried to tell the bureau of aging this is elder abuse because my father is brainwashed. He would have never done this if he was not emotionally manipulated.

For the past five years, now 2024, it has been such a nightmare, and the true people that got hurt are my elderly parents. Both my parents have not had much contact with one another for the past five years. They have not celebrated together, their birthdays, holidays, or their 71st Anniversary, which was in December 2023. They both love each other, despite all the hurt my father has caused my mom. Recently, my mother and I saw my dad at a funeral. Ever since, I have been coordinating meetings between them. My brother and his wife will allow my father to see my mother only once a week he has orders, he told me he would like to see my mom more than once a week. I pick him up and despite all the lies he told about me, he is now forgiven. He acts like nothing happened, and tells me things. He is lonely and misses my mom. He knows now that he caused her great harm, and it bothers him, he wants now to be at peace with her.

I believe the investigators will not do what is right and open this case up. I will never give up and will fight for my mother and I will eventually go to the doorsteps of the state capital. I have a purpose and will not go away, the failure of the courts and their lack of knowledge of the truth.  Courts have to prevent this from happening. Guardianships fill the pockets of the system; it’s a vicious cycle.